The Unreliable Narrators Watch… The Woman in Black

Or: Harry Potter and Chekhov’s Beloved Child

Okay, that’s not entirely fair.

The Woman in Black is an old-fashioned ghost movie with a sound design so effective that your humble Narrators are still talking about more than a week later. It’s not a perfect film—we’ll get to that—but what it does, it does well.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:

Chris
Cath
Chia
George
Special Guest: Morris the Cat

 

Here be spoilers…

 

Our takeaways, with the full transcript after the jump:

chialynn 11:19 PM Obvious in ways I didn’t mind.

chris 11:19 PM I would say very creepy but not scary

chris 11:19 PM it’s that formula that relies on period. Phones and such make it not work

cathschaffstump 11:19 PM I concur, Chris.

cathschaffstump 11:20 PM Lots of really good sets and lighting.

cathschaffstump 11:20 PM Some really good acting.

chialynn 11:20 PM Novy just named the 3d animation and modeling package they used for the end credits.

george_galuschak 11:20 PM i liked it

cathschaffstump 11:20 PM I thought it was fine.

george_galuschak 11:20 PM it was effective at what it set out to do

chialynn 11:20 PM Good acting, effective use of the tropes, even when they were very clearly tropes.

chialynn 11:20 PM Creeped me the hell out.

chris 11:21 PM and yet… the tropes kept it from being scary

chris 11:21 PM too many scares that wouldn’t work without a BAM on the score

chris 11:21 PM It was mostly creepy-old-house atmospherics. And they played every card in that hand! who isn’t creeped out by old dolls, taxidermy, music boxes

chialynn 11:21 PM And… Kind of a happy ending?

cathschaffstump 11:21 PM Kind of.

chris 11:21 PM but then why go through all the shit with the car and the mud?

cathschaffstump 11:21 PM Trying to placate the woman.

chialynn 11:22 PM He thought he could change things. He couldn’t.

chris 11:22 PM did that even do anything?

george_galuschak 11:22 PM maybe she figured she was repaying him

george_galuschak 11:22 PM he wanted to be with his wife, she saw to it

cathschaffstump 11:22 PM Maybe. That’s an interesting take.

chialynn 11:22 PM But she did say “Never forgive.”

cathschaffstump 11:22 PM You gave me back my kid.

cathschaffstump 11:22 PM I give you back to your wife.

george_galuschak 11:22 PM sure

cathschaffstump 11:22 PM I like that.

chris 11:22 PM Well, we spent the entire film waiting for the other shoe to drop on Chekov’s beloved child

chris 11:22 PM and it did

chris 11:24 PM the child showing up just in time for the ending…

george_galuschak 11:23 PM yes, good ending

chialynn 11:23 PM Yes.

cathschaffstump 11:24 PM I still liked it, but I could see why some people might not.

cathschaffstump 11:25 PM So, I’m gonna recommend this one, but with some hesitation for those who don’t like their horror slow.

george_galuschak 11:25 PM i liked it. i will probably watch it again. i turned the sound down so i wouldn’t get too freaked

george_galuschak 11:25 PM the sound is the scariest thing about this movie

cathschaffstump 11:30 PM Agreed, George.

chialynn 11:25 PM I’m going to watch it again.

chialynn 11:26 PM I want to see some of the background stuff I missed.

chialynn 11:27 PM I like slow-build atmospheric horror.

chris 11:28 PM I’d say it’s passable. Not really a standout for me

cathschaffstump 11:29 PM I wouldn’t call it a great horror film.

cathschaffstump 11:29 PM But believe me, I’ve seen plenty worse.

chris 11:29 PM There’s the jacket quote. “I’ve seen plenty worse.” – Cath Schaff-Stump

chris 11:29 PM “Damning with faint praise indeed.”–Cath Schaff-Stump

chris 11:30 PM it wasn’t a waste of time. that’s my jacket quote

 

chialynn 9:47 PM The Woman in Black!

chris 9:47 PM Woman in Black!

george_galuschak 9:47 PM WiB!!!

Morris_teh_cat: 9:47 PM miaow!!!

chris 9:47 PM I always confuse this with Woman in White. Damn you, Wilkie Collins

chialynn 9:48 PM HAMMER!

chris 9:48 PM not your parents’ Hammer

cathschaffstump 9:48 PM Not your husband’s Hammer, but still.

chris 9:49 PM Creepy dolls!

george_galuschak 9:49 PM oh look, a tea party!

george_galuschak 9:49 PM I never had tea parties as a kid

chialynn 9:50 PM I tried. I never quite got the point.

chialynn 9:50 PM Like, I have this tea set, and these dolls, and now what?

Chialynn 9:50 PM Uh, oh.

chris 9:50 PM if your friends jumped out a window, would you follow?

chialynn 9:51 PM These kids are the worst babysitters.

chialynn 9:51 PM Blurry pregnant woman. Never a good sign.

george_galuschak 9:51 PM hey, its harry potter!

cathschaffstump 9:51 PM After a fashion, yes.

chialynn 9:51 PM His scars are on the inside this time.

chris 9:52 PM hey, it’s the midwife!

george_galuschak 9:52 PM that doesn’t look good.

chialynn 9:51 PM Oh, good. The child survived, at least.

george_galuschak 9:52 PM mummy’s in heaven

george_galuschak 9:52 PM or on a cloud

george_galuschak 9:52 PM or wherever

chialynn 9:52 PM “You look just like your mother. And that’s why I’m sad.”

Morris_the_cat 9:53 PM oliver rt

george_galuschak 9:53 PM dickens lawyer

chris 9:54 PM Mrs. Alice Drablow. Dickens name

chialynn 9:55 PM Last train, in the rain.

chialynn 9:54 PM If I have learned anything from Hammer films and British murder mysteries, it’s that the English countryside is deadly.

cathschaffstump 9:54 PM Look. Just don’t bring your kid to the countryside.

cathschaffstump 9:54 PM Note the kids die young theme that has so far been mentioned/seen twice.

chris 9:55 PM Your predecessor, Mr. Harker, did not fare well

chris 9:55 PM <—forever ruined by Dracula films

george_galuschak 9:54 PM flashback!

cathschaffstump 9:56 PM A happy family! *)^%$!!

chris 9:56 PM ha she’s a midwife in this, too!

george_galuschak 9:56 PM that kid’s way too clean to be a newborn

chialynn 9:56 PM Too plump and smooth, too.

chialynn 9:57 PM Did the midwife stick around and become the kid’s nurse?

chialynn 9:57 PM Cath, he’s getting a ride from a local with a dog. Is that safe?

cathschaffstump 9:57 PM I would say yes, after last weekend.

chialynn 9:58 PM (Cath got a ride from a local with a dog. She was chatty.)

((Editor’s Note: Cath and Chia attended the Viable Paradise reunion last weekend!))

george_galuschak 9:58 PM unfriendly locals

chris 9:58 PM They call me Mister Kibbs!

Morris_the_cat 9:58 PM squuezak 89

Chris 9:58 PM No room at the inn.

Chris 9:58 PM I sense some domestic tension here at the local inn.

cathschaffstump 9:58 PM This is a pretty dingy inn  for a Hammer film.

cathschaffstump 9:58 PM I expect more brightness, and more cleavage.

george_galuschak 9:59 PM i’m a grumpy innkeeper

chris 9:59 PM We’ll put you up in the attic with Cathy and her friends

george_galuschak 9:59 PM what a nice room!

chialynn 9:59 PM Don’t mind the bird. He can’t really see the future. Usually.

chialynn 10:00 PM Don’t mind the headless doll on the nightstand, either.

cathschaffstump 10:00 PM Yeah. This room is so not scary.

chialynn 10:01 PM “This is a local town. For local people.”

george_galuschak 10:01 PM wow, this seems like a real plum assignment

chris 10:01 PM did that kid have an Elvis doll?

george_galuschak 10:01 PM Off to the lawyer!

cathschaffstump 10:02 PM They still call him Mr. Kibbs.

chialynn 10:03 PM Hello, nice to see you, off you go.

cathschaffstump 10:03 PM Pleasure to meet you my eye.

cathschaffstump 10:03 PM Telephone? Pshaw!

cathschaffstump 10:03 PM And the post office is closed.

cathschaffstump 10:03 PM You should get out of town.

george_galuschak 10:03 PM eel marsh house

chialynn 10:04 PM Charming place.

cathschaffstump 10:04 PM A house called Eel Marsh. And you want to go?

chialynn 10:04 PM Full of, erm, eels, actually.

cathschaffstump 10:04 PM This town is dour.

george_galuschak 10:04 PM eels are supposed to be very nutritious

cathschaffstump 10:04 PM The countryside, dour.

cathschaffstump 10:04 PM The people, you know, dour.

chialynn 10:05 PM Pretty horse that dour driver has there.

chialynn 10:05 PM It and the bird are the only cheerful residents of the town so far.

chialynn 10:05 PM Is that house cut off from the mainland at high tide? It is, isn’t it?

cathschaffstump 10:05 PM Look at that house. In the middle of a lake of a sort.

cathschaffstump 10:06 PM The sky, dour.

cathschaffstump 10:06 PM the graveyard, way beyond dour.

chialynn 10:06 PM Even the ivy is glum.

chialynn 10:07 PM “Sorry about the mess. We only had one servant, and he left us for The Pit and the Pendulum.”

cathschaffstump 10:07 PM Teehee!

chris 10:07 PM servants are the smartest bunch in horror

chris 10:07 PM they leave early, don’t ask questions

cathschaffstump 10:08 PM There’s a lot going on in the background in this film.

chialynn 10:08 PM Don’t bother opening the shutter. The sunlight is dour, too.

cathschaffstump 10:08 PM That’s some pretty good mood lighting, though.

chialynn 10:08 PM Oh, nice shot of the tide coming in to cut off the house.

chialynn 10:09 PM Mud. Mud on the doorknobs. Mud in the pipes.

cathschaffstump 10:09 PM Mud…or eels???

cathschaffstump 10:09 PM Okay. Mud.

chialynn 10:09 PM Tracked in by eels?

chris 10:09 PM this movie needs a 30 ft eel

chris 10:09 PM monkeys!

george_galuschak 10:09 PM antler chandelier

cathschaffstump 10:09 PM Gods, I love the Griffin on the stairs.

chris 10:09 PM why do creepy homeowners always collect taxidermy?

chialynn 10:10 PM It’s part of the membership packet.

cathschaffstump 10:10 PM You know, if you’re creepy, you might like bits of dead animals.

chialynn 10:10 PM Buy a creepy old house, get a monthly subscription box full of dead animals and cobwebs.

george_galuschak 10:10 PM its a fun hobby and there’s always plenty of roadkill

cathschaffstump 10:10 PM Or in this case, drowned creatures.

george_galuschak 10:11 PM lotsa materials to work with

chris 10:12 PM big on aural jump scares

chris 10:13 PM creepy neigh

chialynn 10:13 PM And a woman screaming.

chris 10:13 PM creepy scream

chialynn 10:13 PM In the mist.

chialynn 10:13 PM Never a good sign.

chris 10:13 PM okay, music is a *bit* overblown

chris 10:13 PM big moment… .NOW BOOM

chialynn 10:14 PM Oh, it’s that guy.

chialynn 10:14 PM And his pretty horse.

chris 10:14 PM Nine Lives Causeway

george_galuschak 10:14 PM if this guy had half a brain he’d pack up his shit and leave

cathschaffstump 10:15 PM Yes, but you know. He needs the job.

cathschaffstump 10:15 PM Lots of bills overdue. That kind of thing.

chialynn 10:15 PM “My sister is ill, sir. You’re a lawyer, can you help her?”

george_galuschak 10:15 PM children spitting up blood

cathschaffstump 10:15 PM Oh look. Undead children.

cathschaffstump 10:15 PM Mmmmm. Lye.

chialynn 10:16 PM Maybe storing the lye next to the milk bottles wasn’t a great idea?

chris 10:16 PM The lye is a cake

chialynn 10:16 PM Groooooaaaan.

cathschaffstump 10:16 PM That’s 3 child deaths.

cathschaffstump 10:16 PM Don’t bring your kid here, okay?

cathschaffstump 10:16 PM Call your Nanny now.

cathschaffstump 10:16 PM Send a telegram.

george_galuschak 10:18 PM he should leave, too

george_galuschak 10:18 PM ‘I can’t leave because i’m stupid’

chialynn 10:18 PM “I couldn’t save my wife, but I’ll save… Um… All y’all. All o’ y’all.”

george_galuschak 10:18 PM dogs in sailor suits

cathschaffstump 10:18 PM Adorbs!

cathschaffstump 10:18 PM I would never put my dog in a sailor suit, but adorbs.

chris 10:18 PM I smell the old “bird recites an important plot point” chestnut

chialynn 10:18 PM Oh, definitely.

chialynn 10:18 PM His wife’s not been right since they lost their son, has she?

cathschaffstump 10:19 PM And I think I’ll drink a lot while my wife is crazy at you.

Morris-the-cat 10:20 PM: ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

chialynn 10:20 PM Oh, dear.

chris 10:20 PM hahaha

chialynn 10:20 PM She’s having one of her spells again.

chris 10:21 PM I’ll show you a picture!

chialynn 10:21 PM Her medication is chloroform

chris 10:21 PM haha

chialynn 10:21 PM Well, that’s one way to deal with grief, I suppose.

cathschaffstump 10:21 PM Chloroform it?

george_galuschak 10:22 PM luckily I have this chloroform lying around

cathschaffstump 10:23 PM it’s not natural to lose someone so young.

chris 10:23 PM says the man who says goodnight to his son every evening

chris 10:23 PM I’m sure the fact that he has a child has nothing to do with what will happen

cathschaffstump 10:23 PM this is the 4th child death in the film.

george_galuschak 10:23 PM better keep a running tally

chris 10:23 PM two small dogs = one child?

chialynn 10:23 PM She’s recovered nicely from her bi-weekly chloroforming.

chialynn 10:24 PM Sixth, if we count the  girls from the first scene.

cathschaffstump 10:24 PM Six deaths.

cathschaffstump 10:24 PM 10:24 4 incidents.

cathschaffstump 10:24 PM We’ll keep a body count.

chialynn 10:25 PM That’s the second weird handprint I’ve seen on a door.

chialynn 10:25 PM More dolls!

cathschaffstump 10:25 PM Because dolls aren’t scary at all.

chialynn 10:26 PM The dolls are even starting to creep me out, and I’m rarely scared of dolls.

george_galuschak 10:26 PM trump supporters

chialynn 10:27 PM Sluggish lot, aren’t they?

cathschaffstump 10:27 PM How is this Dan Radcliffe’s fault.

chialynn 10:27 PM Standing in the middle of the road they’ve just insisted he drive down.

cathschaffstump 10:27 PM We’re still dour.

george_galuschak 10:26 PM back to good ole Eel Marsh House!

chialynn 10:27 PM Yes, take the dog.

cathschaffstump 10:27 PM No, really.

chialynn 10:28 PM Dogs are very helpful in these situations.

cathschaffstump 10:28 PM They can help you add and sort, dogs can.

chialynn 10:28 PM And that dog looks a bit like Ben Aaronovitch’s Toby, which will make her doubly helpful, I’m sure.

george_galuschak 10:28 PM they can act as cannon fodder

chialynn 10:29 PM I always put the key in the wrong way ‘round at first, too.

chialynn 10:29 PM Especially when something is creeping up behind me.

chialynn 10:29 PM It’s these damned sliding hallways.

george_galuschak 10:29 PM guys I don’t have a lot of sympathy for DR

george_galuschak 10:29 PM he’s pretty dumb

chris 10:30 PM ‘e’s a wizard

chialynn 10:30 PM He’s never seen a horror movie.

cathschaffstump 10:31 PM This is a genre film.

cathschaffstump 10:31 PM He’s supposed to do that.

cathschaffstump 10:31 PM Perhaps it is homage?

george_galuschak 10:31 PM this movie looks like a 90 minute set of clichés

chialynn 10:31 PM I’m reading it as homage.

chris 10:31 PM I have to say every scene makes me think, “Oh, that’s from…”

cathschaffstump 10:31 PM This is probably why the film wasn’t a commercial success.

cathschaffstump 10:31 PM I think they are trying to do something that’s very different from what’s being done now.

cathschaffstump 10:31 PM Its style is no longer what audiences want.

cathschaffstump 10:31 PM The scary quiet ghost story.

chris 10:35 PM Scary quiet ghost stories can still not be made of tropes. Ever seen The Others?

chialynn 10:31 PM Oh, look. Quaintly racist art.

chris 10:31 PM Creepy zoetrope!

cathschaffstump 10:31 PM Man. I hate it when you look through a racist zoetrope and think you see something.

cathschaffstump 10:32 PM And then the music and you know.

chialynn 10:33 PM Now, is the dog trying to tell you something, or did she spot a squirrel?

cathschaffstump 10:33 PM Go get ’em, Toby.

george_galuschak 10:34 PM there she is, ole bright eyes!

chialynn 10:34 PM Now, see. If he weren’t such a modern man, he’d realize that going in to confront the creepy woman in the window is a really bad idea.

chialynn 10:35 PM He’d be safer in the creepy graveyard with the steel-clawed rats.

chialynn 10:35 PM Oh, that was a nice shot.

chialynn 10:35 PM Now we’ve seen her when he hasn’t.

chialynn 10:35 PM Which suggests she’s really there.

cathschaffstump 10:35 PM Yup.

george_galuschak 10:36 PM this is spooky!

george_galuschak 10:36 PM this movie’s scaring me, will admit it

cathschaffstump 10:36 PM And….what is the dark secret of the child?

cathschaffstump 10:36 PM Adoption!!!!!!

chris 10:36 PM epistolary exposition!

chialynn 10:37 PM Her handwriting is deteriorating.

chialynn 10:38 PM Ah. Suicide!

chris 10:38 PM self-murder?

chialynn 10:38 PM Still illegal at this point in history.

chialynn 10:38 PM Suicides were buried at crossroads into the 19th century.

cathschaffstump 10:38 PM Oh.

cathschaffstump 10:38 PM Hey.

cathschaffstump 10:38 PM In the background.

cathschaffstump 10:39 PM Watching him.

chialynn 10:39 PM Ooooh. Creepy monkey is watching…

cathschaffstump 10:39 PM Toby is growling.

chialynn 10:39 PM Good dog, Toby.

cathschaffstump 10:39 PM Here’s a sausage.

george_galuschak 10:39 PM the scrappy mutt!

cathschaffstump 10:39 PM Take the dog, Caesar said. Good call.

cathschaffstump 10:40 PM Man. No one told me this job was haunted.

george_galuschak 10:40 PM yes, instead of doing my job i’m just going to wander around and explore the haunted house

chialynn 10:41 PM Um, Mr. Kibbs? Destroying the client’s property isn’t in your job description.

chris 10:42 PM this is more scary than Crimson Peak. talk about faint praise

chialynn 10:42 PM There she is again.

george_galuschak 10:42 PM i didn’t see her this time

chialynn 10:43 PM It was quick.

chris 10:43 PM what was the heavy thumping?

chialynn 10:43 PM The rocking chair. It’s lined with lead.

chialynn 10:43 PM Audio’s a big part of what makes horror films work.

chris 10:43 PM basso profundo

chialynn 10:43 PM Okay, I am done with these monkeys.

chialynn 10:43 PM They are creeping me out.

cathschaffstump 10:44 PM Right?

cathschaffstump 10:44 PM You should use that ax to smash some monkeys.

chialynn 10:45 PM He’s… going to go out there, isn’t he?

cathschaffstump 10:45 PM Because there’s a kid out there!

cathschaffstump 10:46 PM Another dead kid?

george_galuschak 10:46 PM what’s the tally now?

cathschaffstump 10:46 PM Eight dead kids.

cathschaffstump 10:46 PM There’ll be more.

chialynn 10:46 PM Shit. That one got me.

chialynn 10:46 PM The screaming woman and the creepy handprint.

george_galuschak 10:46 PM woof, woof, woof!!!

chris 10:46 PM dog is wagging his tail!

chialynn 10:46 PM Creepy handprints all over this movie.

chialynn 10:47 PM Oh, dear.

chris 10:47 PM Hey, creepy thing! Come back here!

cathschaffstump 10:48 PM I think that’s one of the previously dead children.

cathschaffstump 10:48 PM Right? The one that drank lye?

chialynn 10:48 PM Better the house be full of eels than the woods be full of corpses.

chialynn 10:48 PM Eels. Preferable to corpses since 1887.

chris 10:48 PM house of eel repute

george_galuschak 10:48 PM this movie is creepy as hell, but in some ways it’s obvious

chris 10:49 PM yeah it’s all atmosphere

chialynn 10:49 PM Music boxes. Also creepy.

chialynn 10:49 PM That doll looks like Priss in Blade Runner.

chialynn 10:49 PM And we all know what happened to her.

chris 10:49 PM This is Priss, our basic pleasure model

george_galuschak 10:49 PM hissssss

chialynn 10:50 PM Well, that explains the rocking chair.

cathschaffstump 10:50 PM So little dialogue.

cathschaffstump 10:50 PM It’s hard work carrying a film like this without dialogue.

george_galuschak 10:50 PM if he was sane he’d use those matches to burn the place to the ground and blame the townspeople

cathschaffstump 10:50 PM So many ghosts.

chris 10:51 PM chestburster

cathschaffstump 10:51 PM Hating my job. Hating my job. Hating my job.

george_galuschak 10:51 PM ‘so how was your night?’

george_galuschak 10:51 PM ‘all right. how’s your crazy wife?’

chialynn 10:51 PM “Be a lawyer, they said. It’s safe, boring desk-work, they said.”

cathschaffstump 10:51 PM You’ll never have to run away from scary ghosts, they said.

george_galuschak 10:51 PM ((dialogue that should have been in the movie))

george_galuschak 10:52 PM hey, it’s a trump rally!!!

chialynn 10:52 PM That is not a great composite.

george_galuschak 10:52 PM screaming, cursing, burning shit up

chialynn 10:52 PM chialynn Ugh.

cathschaffstump 10:53 PM Yup. This will be dead child number….nine?

chialynn 10:53 PM That child hasn’t been locked in the basement the whole time, has she?

chialynn 10:53 PM Oh. She had been locked in the basement the whole time.

cathschaffstump 10:53 PM Yup.

chialynn 10:53 PM Because excellent parenting.

chris 10:53 PM Flower in the Basement

chris 10:53 PM he’s a firefighter, now?

george_galuschak 10:53 PM he shows no ill effects from being in a burning house

george_galuschak 10:53 PM oh yeah, he’s got soot on his face

chris 10:54 PM now he coughs

chialynn 10:54 PM I killed a character that way once.

chialynn 10:54 PM Flaming lamp oil.

chialynn 10:54 PM The innkeeper’s wife deserves better.

chris 10:54 PM “Fix me a potpie”

chialynn 10:56 PM Has he figured out yet that his son really mustn’t come visit him here?

george_galuschak 10:57 PM they hid that part of the script from him

chris 10:57 PM they’ll probably surprise visit

chialynn 10:57 PM The crazy woman is the sanest person in town.

cathschaffstump 10:57 PM Awesome. You can see her too.

cathschaffstump 10:57 PM Let me get you some chloroform.

george_galuschak 10:56 PM ‘hey, crazy lady.’

cathschaffstump 10:58 PM See????

cathschaffstump 10:58 PM Lots of dead children.

george_galuschak 10:58 PM Eleven now!

cathschaffstump 10:58 PM Collect them all.

chris 10:59 PM the boy has the dog’s sailor uniform on!

cathschaffstump 10:59 PM Nice detail.

george_galuschak 10:59 PM like the crackerjack boy!!!

chris 10:59 PM Street art is not a crime

chialynn 10:59 PM Oh, _now_ he figures it out.

chris 11:00 PM Chekov’s adored son

cathschaffstump 11:00 PM Yeah. NOW he figures it out.

cathschaffstump 11:00 PM Convenient. The telegraph is scrapped.

chialynn 11:00 PM Or you could meet them at the train station and drive them right on out of town.

chialynn 11:01 PM Rather than risk your life in a desperate and probably stupid recovery effort.

george_galuschak 11:01 PM is this guy stupid or what?

cathschaffstump 11:01 PM Let’s go get that kid’s body.

george_galuschak 11:02 PM ‘i know, let’s do this in the middle of the night. it’s better that way!’

chris 11:01 PM he’s a regular Action Jackson

chialynn 11:01 PM High intelligence, low wisdom.

chris 11:02 PM -5 vs. mud pit

chialynn 11:02 PM “Roll for constitution.”

chris 11:02 PM natural 20

chialynn 11:03 PM What you don’t know about Mr. Kipps is that he was an Olympic mud-diver.

cathschaffstump 11:03 PM That’s some sticky, sticky mud.

chialynn 11:03 PM That car’s got some serious torque.

chris 11:04 PM he got the tow package

chialynn 11:04 PM Yes, Arthur. Push the car out of the quicksand that you’re standing in. That’ll work.

chris 11:05 PM kid was in a car?

chialynn 11:05 PM Yeah, the whole car sank.

chialynn 11:05 PM He hallucinated it earlier.

cathschaffstump 11:05 PM So. We got the body. Okay.

chialynn 11:05 PM Good thing he brought a change of clothes.

chialynn 11:06 PM That’s just the kind of clear-headed, rational thinking that’ll make you a partner in the firm one day.

george_galuschak 11:06 PM ‘i like the cut of your jib’

chialynn 11:06 PM Mud’s an excellent corpse preserver.

george_galuschak 11:07 PM oh, look, a hell rabbit

chialynn 11:07 PM A wind-up hell rabbit.

chris 11:07 PM well, that’s creepy

cathschaffstump 11:07 PM You did that wind up bunny to yourself, Arthur.

chialynn 11:08 PM Did these people buy all those musical toys for their own child?

chialynn 11:08 PM And if so, what the hell were they thinking

cathschaffstump 11:08 PM I think they had a thing for musical toys.

george_galuschak 11:08 PM they bought them at the creepy emporium

cathschaffstump 11:08 PM Okay, bitch. Come get some…musical toys.

chris 11:09 PM oh no, don’t fall for the “ghost draws you away” trick

chialynn 11:09 PM He’s never seen a horror movie, either.

cathschaffstump 11:09 PM No. They didn’t have them in ancient Rome.

george_galuschak 11:09 PM shrieky corpse lady!

chris 11:09 PM is that supposed to be a bear? a cat?

chialynn 11:10 PM I think it’s a cat.

george_galuschak 11:10 PM kitty!

cathschaffstump 11:10 PM Cat.

chialynn 11:10 PM Mama’s in the rocking chair.

Morris_the_cat 11:10 PM RUM REDR RUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM

chialynn 11:10 PM It’s okay, Morris.

chialynn 11:10 PM The ghost only kills children.

chialynn 11:11 PM Somebody just drove by on a motorcycle and thoroughly confused me.

chialynn 11:11 PM I thought it was on the soundtrack.

chris 11:12 PM The Woman on a Harley

cathschaffstump 11:12 PM which is worse?

cathschaffstump 11:12 PM Going into the marsh, or into the tomb?

george_galuschak 11:13 PM i wouldn’t go into either, honestly

chialynn 11:13 PM A marsh full of eels.

chris 11:13 PM riding in cars with eels

chialynn 11:13 PM Who thankfully do not eat little boys in cars.

george_galuschak 11:13 PM hey, hey, it’s #13!!!

chialynn 11:14 PM “Never forgive.”

chialynn 11:14 PM I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

cathschaffstump 11:15 PM Looks like they’ve fended off the trouble, right?

george_galuschak 11:15 PM yup, it’ s all gonna be fine

chris 11:15 PM clearly she’s not gone

chialynn 11:15 PM Even if he does think she’s gone.

chialynn 11:15 PM Oh, good. He’s figured out that staying would be a bad idea.

chris 11:15 PM why let the train go, even?

cathschaffstump 11:15 PM Right?

chialynn 11:15 PM Don’t let go of that child’s hand!

george_galuschak 11:15 PM father of the year

chris 11:15 PM awesome parenting

cathschaffstump 11:16 PM Hey. Where’s my kid?

cathschaffstump 11:16 PM And…

george_galuschak 11:16 PM eww

george_galuschak 11:16 PM there’s gonna be a helluva clean up job for somebody

chris 11:16 PM IT was all a dream!

cathschaffstump 11:16 PM they’re alive?

george_galuschak 11:17 PM no, i think he’s dead as a doornail

george_galuschak 11:16 PM no, he’s in some sort of heaven

george_galuschak 11:17 PM or purgatory

chialynn 11:17 PM Or she’s got them both.

chris 11:17 PM wha?

chris 11:17 PM why smile?

chialynn 11:17 PM He’ll be happier this way.

chris 11:17 PM Darwin has claimed you.

cathschaffstump 11:17 PM Hey, Woman in Black.

cathschaffstump 11:17 PM Fuck you.

cathschaffstump 11:17 PM We are off with the Woman in White.

cathschaffstump 11:17 PM A victory of sorts.

chialynn 11:18 PM So she killed him, but she couldn’t take him, because the Woman in White had a pre-existing claim.

cathschaffstump 11:18 PM And no more worry about that effin job.

cathschaffstump 11:18 PM And that be all she wrote.

cathschaffstump 11:18 PM Thoughts?

george_galuschak 11:18 PM you could say she gave him what he wanted

george_galuschak 11:18 PM to be reunited with his family

chialynn 11:19 PM Obvious in ways I didn’t mind.

chris 11:19 PM I would say very creepy but not scary

chris 11:19 PM it’s that formula that relies on period. Phones and such make it not work

cathschaffstump 11:19 PM I concur, Chris.

cathschaffstump 11:20 PM Lots of really good sets and lighting.

cathschaffstump 11:20 PM Some really good acting.

chialynn 11:20 PM Novy just named the 3d animation and modeling package they used for the end credits.

george_galuschak 11:20 PM i liked it

cathschaffstump 11:20 PM I thought it was fine.

george_galuschak 11:20 PM it was effective at what it set out to do

chialynn 11:20 PM Good acting, effective use of the tropes, even when they were very clearly tropes.

chialynn 11:20 PM Creeped me the hell out.

chris 11:21 PM and yet… the tropes kept it from being scary

chris 11:21 PM too many scares that wouldn’t work without a BAM on the score

chris 11:21 PM It was mostly creepy-old-house atmospherics. And they played every card in that hand! who isn’t creeped out by old dolls, taxidermy, music boxes

chialynn 11:21 PM And… Kind of a happy ending?

cathschaffstump 11:21 PM Kind of.

chris 11:21 PM but then why go through all the shit with the car and the mud?

cathschaffstump 11:21 PM Trying to placate the woman.

chialynn 11:22 PM He thought he could change things. He couldn’t.

chris 11:22 PM did that even do anything?

george_galuschak 11:22 PM maybe she figured she was repaying him

george_galuschak 11:22 PM he wanted to be with his wife, she saw to it

cathschaffstump 11:22 PM Maybe. That’s an interesting take.

chialynn 11:22 PM But she did say “Never forgive.”

cathschaffstump 11:22 PM You gave me back my kid.

cathschaffstump 11:22 PM I give you back to your wife.

george_galuschak 11:22 PM sure

cathschaffstump 11:22 PM I like that.

chris 11:22 PM Well, we spent the entire film waiting for the other shoe to drop on Chekov’s beloved child

chris 11:22 PM and it did

chris 11:24 PM the child showing up just in time for the ending…

george_galuschak 11:23 PM yes, good ending

chialynn 11:23 PM Yes.

cathschaffstump 11:24 PM I still liked it, but I could see why some people might not.

cathschaffstump 11:25 PM So, I’m gonna recommend this one, but with some hesitation for those who don’t like their horror slow.

george_galuschak 11:25 PM i liked it. i will probably watch it again. i turned the sound down so i wouldn’t get too freaked

george_galuschak 11:25 PM the sound is the scariest thing about this movie

cathschaffstump 11:30 PM Agreed, George.

chialynn 11:25 PM I’m going to watch it again.

chialynn 11:26 PM I want to see some of the background stuff I missed.

chialynn 11:27 PM I like slow-build atmospheric horror.

chris 11:28 PM I’d say it’s passable. Not really a standout for me

cathschaffstump 11:29 PM I wouldn’t call it a great horror film.

cathschaffstump 11:29 PM But believe me, I’ve seen plenty worse.

chris 11:29 PM There’s the jacket quote. “I’ve seen plenty worse.” – Cath Schaff-Stump

chris 11:29 PM “Damning with faint praise indeed.”–Cath Schaff-Stump

chris 11:30 PM it wasn’t a waste of time. that’s my jacket quote

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