Welcome to a very special Halloween edition of “The Unreliable Narrators Watch…” with your hosts, the Unreliable Narrators. This week, we’re settling in with a Lucio Fulci splatterfest. City of the Living Dead is the first movie in the acclaimed (?!?) director’s Gates of Hell trilogy.
After watching this movie we were all pretty shell-shocked and didn’t have much in the way of final thoughts. A word of caution: do not watch this while you are eating.
Warning: the following contains SPOILERS. And howler monkeys!
george_galuschak [6:31 PM] City of the Living Dead!
chialynn [6:31 PM] City of the Living Dead!
chris [6:31 PM] City of the Living Dead!
chris [6:31 PM] Now that’s how you start a horror movie!
george_galuschak [6:32 PM] lots of fog
chris [6:32 PM] screaming
george_galuschak [6:32 PM] spooky graveyard!
chris [6:32 PM] so, it’s Italian but they’re in Dunwich?
chialynn [6:32 PM] Very New England.
chris [6:32 PM] or they’re in a suburb of Rome that’s subbing for Dunwich
george_galuschak [6:33 PM] Rome, New England – same difference
chialynn [6:33 PM] We have those table-top monuments in the cemeteries here, and it always reminds me of Narnia.
george_galuschak [6:33 PM] the priest has red eyes. Maybe he has allergies?
chris [6:33] sounds like Goblin on the soundtrack! this is a LOT like the Dawn of the Dead score
george_galuschak [6:34 PM] theft is the sincerest form of flattery
chialynn [6:34 PM] Séance!
george_galuschak [6:34 PM] now we’re in New York!
chialynn [6:34 PM] ACTING!!!
chris [6:34 PM] I see… a little silhouetto of a man
chialynn [6:34 PM] Acting by breathing!
george_galuschak [6:34 PM] heavy breathing
chris [6:35 PM] First zoom on eyes!
george_galuschak [6:35 PM] bummer
chialynn [6:35 PM] More screaming!
george_galuschak [6:35 PM] wow, the plot’s really kicking into gear!
chialynn [6:35 PM] And what could be a Led Zeppelin riff.
chris [6:35 PM] Youtube has spiffy subtitles. [Spirits moaning]
george_galuschak [6:36 PM] Nice sideburns!
george_galuschak [6:36 PM] Poor Mary!
chialynn [6:36 PM] I think she has a mouthful of hydrogen peroxide.
chris [6:36 PM] doh, link broken
chialynn [6:36 PM] 404, spirit not found.
chialynn [6:37 PM] “You dweller of the twilight void come to Dunwich.”
chris [6:37 PM] Grace Zabriskie should have been in this.
george_galuschak [6:37 PM] good dubbing here!
chialynn [6:37 PM] “Maybe I’ve got no imagination.”
chris [6:37 PM] now it’s a whodunit
george_galuschak [6:38 PM] that’s a nice trench coat
chialynn [6:38 PM] It is.
chris [6:38 PM] Comic book version of what?
chialynn [6:38 PM] Oh, the Book of Enoch. Of course.
george_galuschak [6:39 PM] is that a wig she’s wearing?
chialynn [6:39 PM] Aaaand, now the room is on fire. Because of course it is.
chris [6:39 PM] and now it’s not
george_galuschak [6:39 PM] that’s why they don’t allow smoking in buildings anymore
chialynn [6:40 PM] Novy is admiring the actors’ commitment to this horror movie.
chris [6:40 PM] check out her Eye of Agamotto
george_galuschak [6:40 PM] a vacant apartment in Manhattan. For 26 years? that’s the most unrealistic part of this movie
chialynn [6:40 PM] Exactly!
george_galuschak [6:40 PM] I guess we’re back in Dunwich now?
chris [6:41 PM] I like the soundtrack
george_galuschak [6:41 PM] very windy in dunwich
chialynn [6:41 PM] He does have that Dunwich Look. Red-eyed, tense yet slouchy.
chris [6:41 PM] Is that an abanoned place I see?
george_galuschak [6:41 PM] uhh…
chialynn [6:41 PM] But how abandoned is it really?
chris [6:41 PM] hahahaha
george_galuschak [6:41 PM] wow you don’t see that every day
chialynn [6:42 PM] Those aren’t usually self-inflating.
george_galuschak [6:42 PM] worm baby!
chris [6:42 PM] Slow pan of the maggot baby. Have to take advantage of the effect
chialynn [6:43 PM] Prop list: 1 pound hamburger, 6 bait worms.
chialynn [6:43] That actor is drunk.
george_galuschak [6:43 PM] he acts better that way!
chris [6:43 PM] Straight outta the NYPD factory. Scram, youse.
george_galuschak [6:43 PM] back in Dunwich…we know because it’s windy
chialynn [6:44 PM] “All these high winds, pretty unusual.”
chialynn [6:44 PM] I thought that sign said “Junkie’s Lounge.”
chialynn [6:44] Junie probably gets that a lot.
george_galuschak [6:44 PM] is that Pabst Blue Ribbon I see?
chris [6:44 PM] we should have done an “eye zoom” drinking game
george_galuschak [6:45 PM] drink, drink, drink!!!
chialynn [6:45 PM] I’d be as drunk as that actor.
george_galuschak [6:45 PM] yes, there could be a perfectly natural explanation for that wall cracking open.
chris [6:45 PM] wow, an Early Times sign
chialynn [6:45 PM] “Few beers and you fellows start seeing goons.” Yes, that is very usual dialog.
chris [6:46 PM] two Early Times signs!
george_galuschak [6:46 PM] they gotta go
george_galuschak [6:46] to the bathroom, maybe?
chris [6:46 PM] oh thank god, it’s been a minute and a half since we switched to a new place with new characters. (edited)
chialynn [6:47 PM] I was just starting to get comfortable in the Hell Gate Bar.
george_galuschak [6:47 PM] this is like the spoon river anthology of horror movies – ensemble cast full of salt-of-the earth types, the drunks, the blow-up kid…
chialynn [6:47 PM] Did… Did some rando just wander into an ongoing therapy session?
george_galuschak [6:48 PM] ‘sorry for interrupting your therapy session’
chialynn [6:48 PM] “HIPAA hasn’t been passed yet, so it’s okay!”
chris [6:48 PM] Easy Virtue! Gets ’em every time.
george_galuschak [6:48 PM] Kitty is upset!
chialynn [6:49 PM] I would be too, if some blonde threw me across the room.
george_galuschak [6:49 PM] another scene shift! ah, more salt of the earth types
chris [6:49 PM] ogling centerfolds at a cemetery?
george_galuschak [6:49 PM] hey, the drunk guy’s back
chialynn [6:49 PM] There’s a surprising amount of porn in this movie so far.
george_galuschak [6:49 PM] maybe the drunk guy’s our main character?
chris [6:49 PM] open mouth chewing!
chialynn [6:50 PM] That’s how we know he’s a blue-collar guy. Bad manners, steps on corpses.
george_galuschak [6:50 PM] I didn’t know they got into the hole with the body they’re burying
chialynn [6:50 PM] Now I don’t know if they’re gravediggers or archaeologists.
chialynn [6:50] Porn-mag guy has a banana!
chris [6:51 PM] gratuitous ESB in background
george_galuschak [6:51 PM] he’s smoking a Marlboro! lots of smoking in this movie also
chialynn [6:51 PM] It was the 70s. It was required by law.
chris [6:52 PM] does she have LED lighting in her coffin?
chialynn [6:52 PM] Very stylish.
george_galuschak [6:52 PM] bury me with my lava lamp
george_galuschak [6:52] wow, they’re fast
chris [6:52 PM] Shift’s over! Hell with the corpse.
george_galuschak [6:52 PM] union hours!
chialynn [6:53 PM] Oh. She’s not quite dead yet.
george_galuschak [6:53 PM] thus the LED lighting
chialynn [6:53 PM] Even heavier breathing!
chialynn [6:54 PM] Good thing those guys knocked off before they buried her good and deep.
george_galuschak [6:54 PM] she’s ripping the upholstery!
chris [6:54 PM] After her family went to all that expense.
george_galuschak [6:54 PM] those things ain’t cheap
chialynn [6:54 PM] If only she’d learned the Kill Bill punch.
george_galuschak [6:55 PM] he’s still hanging around?
chialynn [6:55 PM] She’s going to die of his indecision.
chialynn [6:55 PM] Like Ophelia.
george_galuschak [6:55 PM] boy, is he stupid
chris [6:55 PM] lol
george_galuschak [6:55 PM] let me drive the pick through her skull
chris [6:56 PM] more eyes
george_galuschak [6:56 PM] lucky and stupid
chialynn [6:57 PM] “But for you, Mary would have died. Now she’s just scarred for life. Good thing we have a therapist on staff.”
george_galuschak [6:57 PM] a windy city
chialynn [6:57 PM] Mismatched earrings! (I love mismatched earrings.)
chris [6:57 PM] okay, so I guess they chucked her into an expensive coffin without an autopsy or any embalming or anything?
george_galuschak [6:58] ahh, they don’t need autopsies or any of that crap. not in N.J. Since we can see the NYC skyline, I’m guessing it’s N.J.
chialynn [6:58 PM] Dunwich, NJ.
chialynn [6:58 PM] Just outside of, um, Trenton?
chialynn [6:58 PM] Cat’s walking across the piano keys again.
george_galuschak [6:58 PM] is that Bob?
chialynn [6:59 PM] Oh, that’s Bob.
george_galuschak [6:59 PM] What about Bob?
chialynn [6:59 PM] Nice guy, Bob.
chris [6:59 PM] Dawn of the Dead music is back.
george_galuschak [6:59 PM] more worms!
chialynn [6:59 PM] Likes inflatable toys.
george_galuschak [7:00 PM] that’s on his eHarmony profile
chris [7:00 PM] Is that the therapist?
george_galuschak [7:00 PM] the incest therapist, yes
chris [7:00 PM] I can’t keep track of these 1,200 characters
george_galuschak [7:00 PM] they’ll start dying soon enough
chris [7:01 PM] EYE ZOOM
george_galuschak [7:01 PM] I wonder if David Lynch saw this movie? Wasn’t Bob the name of the villain in Twin Peaks?
chialynn [7:01 PM] “I don’t have time to talk to you now, call if you need anything.”
chris [7:01 PM] making out. Always the kiss of death.
george_galuschak [7:01 PM] dead priest alert!
chialynn [7:02 PM] DON’T TURN ON THE HEADLIGHTS!
chris [7:02 PM] Too bad you drained the gas tank, Tommy
george_galuschak [7:03 PM] more eyes!
chris [7:03 PM] here comes the peroxide
chialynn [7:03 PM] This is why we don’t leave our contacts in overnight, sweetie.
george_galuschak [7:03 PM] the date isn’t going so well, I guess
chialynn [7:04 PM] I want you all to know that I’m eating dinner right now.
george_galuschak [7:04 PM] well, that was gross
chialynn [7:05 PM] Nothing red, fortunately.
chris [7:05 PM] Who’s the British chick?
george_galuschak [7:05 PM] he managed to find a parking spot in NYC. Totally unrealistic!
chialynn [7:05 PM] Who’s letting the drunk guy drive?
chris [7:06 PM] “I think the guts spilling out of her mouth had something to do with her death.”
chialynn [7:06 PM] It was Bob!
george_galuschak [7:06 PM] Nyack NY represent!
chris [7:07 PM] Wyack!
chris [7:07] oh Nyack
george_galuschak [7:07 PM] Hey, I think I understand the plot now
chris [7:08 PM] The priest hanged himself! He must be destroyed!
chialynn [7:08 PM] Thanks for spelling it out for us, Mary.
george_galuschak [7:08 PM] that’s one nice head of hair. everyone in this movie has nice hair
chris [7:08 PM] borscht
chialynn [7:08 PM] “My Juicero finally arrived!”
chris [7:09 PM] but again, she apparently hasn’t been cut open
chialynn [7:09 PM] Creepy and inappropriate undertaker—check.
george_galuschak [7:09 PM] that guy looks like a member of the Addams Family
chris [7:09 PM] they walked in on the embalming?
george_galuschak [7:09 PM] back to the bar
george_galuschak [7:10] Bob’s screwed
chris [7:10 PM] he kidnapped a girl and he’s still just hanging out?
chialynn [7:10 PM] “I’m vamoosin’” is a thing that an Italian director would think a Yankee would say.
george_galuschak [7:11 PM] there’s a character named John-john
chialynn [7:11 PM] Bob needs a shower and a hot cup of get yourself together.
george_galuschak [7:11 PM] he came back for his blow up doll
chialynn [7:11 PM] Man, this is priest is just hanging around all over town.
chris [7:12 PM] These people are pretty blase about strange happenings.
george_galuschak [7:12 PM] galloping cadavers!
george_galuschak [7:12] the drunk guy is wonderfully crusty when he’s not drunk
chialynn [7:12 PM] Is the not-quite-dead girl flirting with the drunk driver?
george_galuschak [7:13 PM] sure, he’s only about thirty years older than her
chris [7:12 PM] Chemistry!
chialynn [7:12 PM] And irresistibly crusty.
george_galuschak [7:13 PM] man, I wish I had a car like that
chris [7:13 PM] I gotcher local cuisine right here, toots.
chris [7:14 PM] his jacket is about 10 sizes too big
george_galuschak [7:14 PM] serves you right, buddy!
chris [7:14 PM] Oh, that’s why. Practical effects.
george_galuschak [7:14 PM] is that a monkey I heard hooting?
chialynn [7:15 PM] Very common in Dunwich.
george_galuschak [7:15 PM] I think the sound effects are screwed up
chialynn [7:15 PM] Hooting monkeys.
chris [7:15 PM] Dawn of the Dead music is always a bad sign
george_galuschak [7:15 PM] the self-rocking chair!
george_galuschak [7:15] watch out, John-John!
chialynn [7:15 PM] Those look a lot like the blinds in Poltergeist. That can’t be a good sign.
chris [7:15 PM] I think everyone in this movie is on heroin. They hear a primal growl, slowly turn their heavy-lidded eyes.
george_galuschak [7:16 PM] look at those blinds. maybe there was a sale at the Two Guys?
chialynn [7:17 PM] Who closes the door to the living room?
george_galuschak [7:17 PM] we better call the doctor. he needs drugs!
chris [7:17 PM] “I don’t need a doctor!” “Well, I could use one.”
george_galuschak [7:17 PM] the casting in this movie is amazing
george_galuschak [7:18] hey, it’s Bob!
chialynn [7:18 PM] Hi, Bob!
chris [7:18 PM] I hope the blowup doll is a vinyl golem.
george_galuschak [7:18 PM] she’s drawing a rhino!
chialynn [7:18 PM] “Eugene Ianesco’s City of the Dead,” says Novy.
george_galuschak [7:18 PM] hey, a push-button phone!
chris [7:18 PM] He never goes home
chialynn [7:19 PM] He has no home, Chris. Not anymore.
george_galuschak [7:19 PM] ‘my office hours are 8 to 4’
chialynn [7:19 PM] “You’re hysterical, silly woman.”
george_galuschak [7:19] control yourself!
chris [7:19 PM] is he counseling his girlfriend? Is that how they met?
chris [7:20 PM] “What’s your prognosis, doctor?” “You’re kinda hot.”
chialynn [7:20 PM] Hi, Bob!
george_galuschak [7:20 PM] Bob’s enjoying his new sweet ride!
chialynn [7:20 PM] “This isn’t a ’57 Fury.”
george_galuschak [7:20 PM] he has a convertible!
chris [7:20 PM] gun!
george_galuschak [7:20 PM] ‘yes, it’s me. don’t shoot me, please.’
george_galuschak [7:21] oboy. Did he really say that?
chris [7:21 PM] ouch
chialynn [7:21 PM] “You’re nursing a pet neurosis, like about 70 percent of the female population of this country” is a thing he just said.
george_galuschak [7:21 PM] talk therapy on the fly
george_galuschak [7:22 PM] there’s a corpse in your kitchen. watch out, she might bite
chris [7:22 PM] …a thing he said to his girlfriend/patient
george_galuschak [7:22 PM] she walked, that’s how she got here
chialynn [7:23 PM] I heard a noise, and then there was a corpse!
chris [7:23 PM] “Calm down!” She’s just standing there.
george_galuschak [7:23 PM] gin and guns
chialynn [7:23 PM] Corpse gas!
george_galuschak [7:23 PM] well, the good news is that the dead body isn’t in your kitchen anymore
chris [7:23 PM] Star Trek tricorder sounds!
george_galuschak [7:24 PM] she has a cozy home…and a studio where she paints rhinos! what a great life!
chris [7:24 PM] “Give me the gun. You’re too emotional.”
chialynn [7:24 PM] Bob Ross, Monster Hunter.
george_galuschak [7:24 PM] she’s fucking up the furniture! Jerry, get her out! she’s fucking up the furniture!
chialynn [7:25 PM] She’s a zombie. That’s what they do.
chris [7:25 PM] What does it take to freak these people out?
chialynn [7:25 PM] “Let’s search every room. Separately.”
george_galuschak [7:25 PM] gargoyle toenails!
chris [7:25 PM] The body is gone, and someone’s clearly trashing the house. But don’t jump to any conclusions.
chialynn [7:26 PM] These things are probably unconnected.
george_galuschak [7:26 PM] that was close!
chialynn [7:26 PM] The geography is still confusing me.
george_galuschak [7:26 PM] man, they went all out on these special effects
chialynn [7:26 PM] The walls are bleeding. That’s never a good sign.
chris [7:27 PM] There’s probably a perfectly good explanation for bleeding walls. Don’t let your pet neuroses get the better of you.
chialynn [7:27 PM] They keep pronouncing it “Dun-wich.” I’m pretty sure it’s “Dunnich.”
chialynn [7:27] And it was definitely not built on the site of the original Salem.
george_galuschak [7:27 PM] he’s been smoking the same cigar for the past sixty minutes
chris [7:27 PM] “We know someone who’s hanging around there.”
george_galuschak [7:28 PM] lol
george_galuschak [7:28 PM] Hey, it’s Bob!
chialynn [7:28 PM] Hey, Bob!
chialynn [7:28 PM] Everybody knows Bob!
chialynn [7:29] Oh, dear.
chialynn [7:29] Now there are powertools and misunderstandings.
george_galuschak [7:29 PM] the Bob storyline isn’t going the way I expected
chialynn [7:30 PM] Bob is a creep, but he doesn’t deserve this.
george_galuschak [7:30 PM] I thought Fulci would go for the eyeball gouge, but no
chris [7:30 PM] He’s full of Hostess cherry pie filling!
chialynn [7:31 PM] Has Fulci been watching Cronenberg?
george_galuschak [7:31 PM] I feel like the Bob storyline never reached its full potential
chris [7:31 PM] Two doorbells!
chialynn [7:31 PM] “I guess there’s nobody in. That’s strange. Funeral homes are usually staffed 24/7.”
george_galuschak [7:31 PM] Ah, they finally made it to dunwich. Where the wind machine always blows
george_galuschak [7:32] it only took them, like, a week
chialynn [7:32 PM] The very same tombstone!
chris [7:32 PM] Arlington joke
chialynn [7:32 PM] So… It’s All-Saints Day, but it was broad daylight in Manhattan at 5pm a few days ago.
chris [7:33 PM] somebody’s really kept up these ancient tombstones
chris [7:34] All the characters are starting to converge! It’s Crash with blood!
chialynn [7:34 PM] It’s SUCH a long story.
george_galuschak [7:34 PM] the death of father Thomas gave birth to evil
chris [7:34 PM] WORM STORM
george_galuschak [7:34 PM] flying maggots!
chialynn [7:34 PM] Ah, the dreaded Dunwich Maggot-nado.
george_galuschak [7:34 PM] why don’t they move away from the window?
chris [7:35 PM] Did we really need to see her upchuck her Frappuccino?
chialynn [7:35 PM] Maggot-storm
george_galuschak [7:35 PM] quick, Robin, to the maggot phone!
chialynn [7:36 PM] The call is coming from inside the maggot!
george_galuschak [7:36 PM] It’s John-John!
chris [7:36 PM] so he called this guy?
george_galuschak [7:36 PM] our heroes are converging
chialynn [7:36 PM] Wait, who’s Emily?
george_galuschak [7:36 PM] who has tabasco sauce with breakfast?
chialynn [7:36 PM] I’ve lost track.
chialynn [7:37 PM] Ah, the bleeding house.
chris [7:37 PM] I feel strange saying this what with all the screaming, but these actors are really underselling the horror.
george_galuschak [7:37 PM] shit like this happens all the time at dunwich
chialynn [7:37 PM] Literally ripped to shreds!
chris [7:37 PM] She was ripped to shreds! Care for a sandwich?
chialynn [7:38 PM] “We gotta go to the funeral parlor!”
chris [7:38 PM] When are we going to back to the diner on top of the hellmouth?
chialynn [7:38 PM] After we go to the funeral parlor.
chialynn [7:38] That coffin has stains on the lid.
george_galuschak [7:39 PM] Coffin display shot!
chris [7:39 PM] We’ve moved on to prog/krautrock
george_galuschak [7:39 PM] a handprint! On the wall!
chialynn [7:39 PM] This is why you don’t hire horror-film set designers to decorate your funeral home.
george_galuschak [7:40 PM] the howler monkeys are out again!
chris [7:40 PM] lol
george_galuschak [7:40 PM] they’re excited
chris [7:40 PM] maybe there’s an undead organ grinder nearby
chialynn [7:40 PM] John-John is a Yankees fan.
george_galuschak [7:40 PM] Brain squeeze
chialynn [7:40 PM] Emily. This really isn’t necessary, Emily.
chris [7:40 PM] I thought she was under the stairs. How did she grab the top of her head?
george_galuschak [7:41 PM] run, John-John!
chris [7:41 PM] Uh oh, drum solo is never a good sign
george_galuschak [7:41 PM] who’s that?
chris [7:41 PM] six million dollar zombie
george_galuschak [7:41 PM] John-john is having a shitty night
chris [7:42 PM] he’s not in much of a hurry
chialynn [7:42 PM] I want to care, John-John, but you’re a Yankees fan.
george_galuschak [7:42] the curse of Bucky Dent
george_galuschak [7:42] what happened to Emily?
george_galuschak [7:42] oh, she’s still there
chris [7:43 PM] Don’t mind me, have your little moment
george_galuschak [7:43 PM] what happened to the guys at the bar?
chialynn [7:43 PM] I think they’re still drinking.
george_galuschak [7:43 PM] it’s the middle of the night. time to go to the cemetery!
chialynn [7:43 PM] It’s quiet then.
chialynn [7:44] Usually.
george_galuschak [7:44 PM] doing it during the day would be too easy
chialynn [7:44 PM] Maybe not tonight.
george_galuschak [7:44 PM] the bar guys!
chris [7:44 PM] The bar! At last!
chris [7:44] Schlitz on tap!
george_galuschak [7:44 PM] Schlitz!!!
chialynn [7:45 PM] Women do not drink in this bar. Just these three guys.
chris [7:45 PM] too neurotic
george_galuschak [7:45 PM] Emily, is that you?
george_galuschak [7:45] IT IS!!!
george_galuschak [7:45] Emily wants a drink!
chialynn [7:45 PM] That is the most ominous Schlitz sign I’ve ever seen.
george_galuschak [7:45 PM] I think Emily is my fave character
chris [7:45 PM] Are they going to resolve anything more with Bob?
george_galuschak [7:46 PM] everyone needs a drink after squeezing someone’s brains out of their head
chialynn [7:46 PM] Bob’s dead, baby. Bob’s dead.
chris [7:46 PM] yeah, but…
george_galuschak [7:46 PM] the monkeys have tinfoil! or packing tape!
chris [7:46 PM] If they get jumped by a swarm of howler monkeys, I will forgive all.
george_galuschak [7:47 PM] Happy All-Saint’s Day, everyone!
chris [7:47 PM] Zombie BoB!
george_galuschak [7:47 PM] Is that Bob? It is! Zombie Bob!
george_galuschak [7:47] he looks better dead than alive
chris [7:47 PM] He does
chialynn [7:47 PM] Hi, Bob!
chris [7:48 PM] sure, hold your face over the opening
george_galuschak [7:48] why not? the howler monkeys are in there!
chris [7:49 PM] why the hell would anyone do that?
george_galuschak [7:49 PM] they’re stupid?
chialynn [7:49 PM] Oh, _now_ she tells them to be careful.
george_galuschak [7:49 PM] or drunk.
chialynn [7:49 PM] True.
chris [7:50 PM] You know, why didn’t they just go straight to Father Thomas’ clearly labeled tomb as soon as they figured out what was up?
chialynn [7:51 PM] I feel like this isn’t the first tomb he’s opened.
george_galuschak [7:51 PM] HI!!!
chris [7:51 PM] Rats! oh damn, for a sec I thought we were getting the howler monkeys
chialynn [7:51 PM] Nope, just wet rats.
george_galuschak [7:51 PM] they’re over budget as is
chris [7:52 PM] “Now what do we do?” “I hear Maui is nice.”
chialynn [7:52 PM] “Or broken out!” Yes, stay with that thought.
george_galuschak [7:52 PM] let’s go into the tomb. good idea!
chris [7:52 PM] Bob!
george_galuschak [7:52 PM] Bob’s down’ with some brain-eatin’!
chris [7:52 PM] Bob and Emily, sittin’ in a tree
george_galuschak [7:53 PM] I didn’t know they built tunnels down there
chialynn [7:53 PM] Is that radio broadcast a direct Night of the Living Dead riff?
george_galuschak [7:53 PM] who’s that? oh it’s the doc’s rhino painting patient!
chris [7:54 PM] Sandra?
chialynn [7:54 PM] Sandra!
george_galuschak [7:54 PM] TIME FOR SOME BRAIN SQUEEZING!
chialynn [7:54 PM] Who may or may not be a descendant of the Salem Witches, but who definitely does have a very strong grip.
chris [7:54 PM] Why do they all have heads full of Bubble Yum?
george_galuschak [7:54 PM] yummy!!!
chris [7:55 PM] Here come the guts
chialynn [7:55 PM] Is… is a MAN going to end this?
george_galuschak [7:55 PM] get the point?!?!
chris [7:55 PM] Everyone knows you stab zombies in the appendix.
chialynn [7:55 PM] Oh, is that what it’s for?
george_galuschak [7:55 PM] for stabbing!
chris [7:56 PM] Where’s Bob?
chialynn [7:56 PM] That’s a lot of upside-down skeletons.
george_galuschak [7:56 PM] and cobwebs
chialynn [7:56 PM] I can see that in your living room, George. You’ve got that nice open floorplan.
(Editor’s Note: George’s apartment does have a nice open floorplan, but he doesn’t live in a cemetery and he definitely doesn’t have a pet zombie)
chialynn [7:56 PM] Lots of room for spiders.
chialynn [7:57 PM] And zombies.
george_galuschak [7:57 PM] drawn out climax
chris [7:57 PM] Stretchy webs!
george_galuschak [7:57 PM] 86 goddamn minutes in, and the dead finally rise!
chris [7:58 PM] this is the inside of a tomb?
chris [7:58]in a cemetery?
george_galuschak [7:58 PM] prognosis: we’re fucked
chialynn [7:58 PM] Eyes!
george_galuschak [7:59 PM] eyes and dead people!
george_galuschak [7:59] It’s Father Vomit!
george_galuschak [7:59] or whatever his name is
chris [7:59 PM] Papa don’t preach
chialynn [7:59 PM] Teleportation!
george_galuschak [7:59 PM] Blood Eyes
chris [7:59 PM] by all means, stand there until he’s done
george_galuschak [7:59 PM] why not look away?
chialynn [8:00 PM] Now, Father. If you’d known you would spend eternity in a stinky corpse hole, would you have hanged yourself in the cemetery?
george_galuschak [8:00 PM] ‘huh. I better do something.’
chris [8:00 PM] He missed the appendix
chialynn [8:00 PM] Did he… did he just stab Father Vomit in the dick?
chris [8:00 PM] Jason!
george_galuschak [8:00 PM] right in the privates!
chris [8:00 PM] wait, why is everything on fire? did I like away at the wrong 2 seconds?
george_galuschak [8:01 PM] you did! and you missed it all!
george_galuschak [8:01] Father Roman Candle
chialynn [8:01 PM] When you stab an undead priest in the dick, the world catches fire.
chialynn [8:01] It is known.
george_galuschak [8:01 PM] man, I thought the brain squeezing f/x were amazing, but this beats that hands down
chris [8:01 PM] Bob and Emily…
george_galuschak [8:02 PM] that’s the sequel
chialynn [8:02 PM] Poor Bob. He just wanted to be left alone with his doll.
chris [8:02 PM] and sleep in people’s cars. in their garages
george_galuschak [8:02 PM] John-John!
chialynn [8:03 PM] Oh, good. Mary got a chance to wash the blood off her face.
chris [8:03 PM] Say what?
chialynn [8:03 PM] Huh. John-John was the hellmouth all along?
george_galuschak [8:03 PM] maybe?
chris [8:03 PM] Was I missing a cheesy special effect? bloody eyes or something?
george_galuschak [8:04 PM] that ending calls into question the past 92 minutes and 30 seconds
chris [8:04 PM] and what became of the howler monkeys?
george_galuschak [8:04 PM] they’ve moved on to Innsmouth
chialynn [8:04 PM] “The Gates of Hell have been closed just before the dead fully rise. Mary and Gerry exit from Father Thomas’ tomb into the graveyard at morning to see John-John and the police. Mary and Gerry’s relief turns to shock as the realization of the past events becomes all too clear. Mary begins to scream as John-John is running towards them before the film crumbles to black.”
chialynn [8:04] (Says Wikipedia.)
chris [8:05 PM] there was a realization?
george_galuschak [8:05 PM] an epiphany!
chris [8:06 PM] she discovered her latent love for Bob, that will now never be realized
george_galuschak [8:06 PM] I don’t think she ever met Bob, that was the rhino painting woman
chris [8:06 PM] that’s what you think
george_galuschak [8:07 PM] maybe she realized John-John is a Yankees fan
chialynn [8:08 PM] Rumor has it that the editor spilled coffee on the original ending.
george_galuschak [8:08 PM] that sounds too awesome to be true
chris [8:08 PM] oh well, one down
george_galuschak [8:08 PM] TWO TO GO
chris [8:08 PM] I think next up will be PULGASARI
chialynn [8:09 PM] PULGASARI!