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Author: ChiaLynn

The Unreliable Narrators Watch… Terrified!

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chialynn [9:38 PM] TERRIFIED!

cathschaffstump [9:38 PM] TERRIFIED!

george_galuschak [9:38 PM] TERRIFIED!!!

chialynn [9:38 PM]
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chialynn [9:39 PM] I’m looking at a woman’s butt.

george_galuschak [9:39 PM] still on trailers!

george_galuschak [9:39 PM] okay, cine argentino

cathschaffstump [9:40 PM] Your friends from Argentina bring you….

chialynn [9:40 PM] Tell me when you get to the woman’s butt.

cathschaffstump [9:40 PM] Still working our way to the butt.

george_galuschak [9:40 PM] got it!

cathschaffstump [9:40 PM] Washing dishes.

george_galuschak [9:40 PM] let’s go go go!

cathschaffstump [9:41 PM] Sink action…OMG water!

george_galuschak [9:41 PM] BUT IS IT CLEAN ENOUGH?!?!

The Unreliable Narrators Watch…Let the Right One In (2008)!

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chris [9:36 PM] Let the Right One In!

cathschaffstump [9:36 PM] Let the Right One In!

chialynn [9:37 PM] Let the Right One In!

george_galuschak [9:40 PM] LET THE RIGHT ONE IN!!!

chris [9:40 PM] starring Haley Joel Osment
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Liftoff!

george_galuschak [9:41 PM] omg its SVEND AGAIN

chris [9:41 PM] get your lingenberries ready

george_galuschak [9:41 PM] snooooow

chialynn [9:41 PM] It’s just two hours of white titles on a black background, isn’t it?

cathschaffstump [9:43 PM] Yes. It’s Swedish.

chialynn [9:44 PM] Oh, sad little blond boy. You are so blond. And so sad.

cathschaffstump [9:44 PM] So…new neighbors!

george_galuschak [9:44 PM] BLOCK UP THOSE WINDOWS

cathschaffstump [9:45 PM] And children with knives. That’s not a problem.

chialynn [9:45 PM] New neighbors in a horror movie are never a good sign.

The Unreliable Narrators Watch… The Haunting of Hill House!

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HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE

chialynn [8:06 PM] The Haunting of Hill House! S1E1, “Steven Sees a Ghost”!

george_galuschak [8:07 PM] HaoHiHo!!

chris [8:07 PM] TV-MA. Oh noes

chialynn [8:07 PM] I have not read the book.

george_galuschak [8:07 PM] wow, quoting from the book!

chris [8:07 PM] I listened to the audiobook not long ago

chialynn [8:07 PM] I saw the dreadful 1999 movie adaptation.

george_galuschak [8:07 PM] I’ve read the book a few times

chris [8:07 PM] it sounds to me like this is not all that faithful, focusing on background chars from the book.

george_galuschak [8:08 PM] this is the Mt. Rushmore of haunted house books

chialynn [8:08 PM] I’m picking it up at the library tomorrow.

chris [8:09 PM] Now I want a mountain monument with heads of Shirley Jackson, Stephen King, maybe Straub or McCammon? (edited)

george_galuschak [8:09 PM] E.A. POE

chris [8:09 PM] Dreams can spill!

george_galuschak [8:10 PM] what the hell is this guy talking about? don’t fill up your kid’s head with garbage, man!

chialynn [8:10 PM] Something terrible is about to happen.

george_galuschak [8:10 PM] bent neck lady sounds like a J-movie

chris [8:10 PM] Some dreams are like Evian, and some are like Flint tap water

chialynn [8:10 PM] Never tell your kid you love her in a horror movie.

The Unreliable Narrators Watch… Jacob’s Ladder!

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JACOB’S LADDER

Dramatis Personae
Cath, Chia, Chris, George

chris [8:03 PM] Jacob’s Ladder!

cathschaffstump [8:04 PM] Jacob’s Ladder!

chris [8:04 PM]
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go’

george_galuschak [8:04 PM] go go go!!!

chialynn [8:04 PM] Jacob’s Ladder!

george_galuschak [8:04 PM] JACOB’S LADDER

chris [8:04 PM] ah, good old Carolco. 90s memories

george_galuschak [8:04 PM] cat sitting in front of TV

chris [8:05 PM] Wes’ son?

chialynn [8:05 PM] Looks a bit like the beginning of Apocalypse Now. I’m sure that’s intentional.

george_galuschak [8:05 PM] ‘Nam?

chialynn [8:05 PM] Danny Aiello!

chris [8:06 PM] and he doesn’t even own a friggin’ pizzeria

cathschaffstump [8:06 PM] Are all past wars in sepia tones?

george_galuschak [8:06 PM] I guess so!

chris [8:07 PM] Marcellus Wallace!

george_galuschak [8:08 PM] hey, it’s RADAR O’REILLY!

chialynn [8:08 PM] It was such a nice day, too.

george_galuschak [8:08 PM] this is giving me a headache

chialynn [8:11 PM] And it was all a dream…

cathschaffstump [8:11 PM] From jungle to post office.

chris [8:11 PM] …or was it?

george_galuschak [8:12 PM] that’s a slovenly subway car

george_galuschak [8:12 PM] gritty!

chialynn [8:12 PM] Even for NYC in the ’70s.

cathschaffstump [8:12 PM] Those glasses are pretty 70s.

cathschaffstump [8:12 PM]
What is he reading?

chris [8:13 PM] Vessel of Ra

cathschaffstump [8:13 PM] Tor.com novella. Kind of thin.

cathschaffstump [8:13 PM]
No! Don’t get off the car. Sure it was dirty, but it was going somewhere.

The Unreliable Narrators Watch… Chinese Ghost Story

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We spent nearly as much time talking about Chinese Ghost Story as we did watching it. This movie has (very nearly) everything—a beautiful, tragic love interest; a flame-throwing monk; a hapless tax-collector hero; a breathtaking pavilion in the middle of a lake; stop-motion zombies; and a climactic battle in hell. What it doesn’t have is a consistent tone or a linear plot—but maybe those things are overrated?

As always, we’ll start with our conclusions, and hide the full transcript after the jump. Prepare for spoilers galore.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:
Chris
Cath
Chia
George

 

cathschaffstump 11:01 PM In part, even though these films have some “quality” issues, they are a lot of fun.

cathschaffstump 11:01 PM And the cheese is part of the feature.

cathschaffstump 11:01 PM And there are moments when they transcend and put us somewhere unique.

chris 11:02 PM cheese goes well with horror. Hello, Vincent Price

cathschaffstump 11:02 PM On the whole, I’m gonna say that I would recommend this to others if I know they would like it, or well, if they are well prepared.

chialynn 11:03 PM Yes, this is one I’d enjoy watching again with other people who would enjoy watching it.

chialynn 11:03 PM Or people I could count on to be entertainingly and/or charmingly baffled by it.

cathschaffstump 11:03 PM Yeah. It would be no fun if the people you were watching it with thought it was weird or stupid.

george_galuschak 11:03 PM this is as much screwball comedy as horror

george_galuschak 11:03 PM it’s really a very upbeat movie

george_galuschak 11:04 PM optimistic

chris 11:04 PM yeah that’s why earlier I said this may not even qualify as horror

cathschaffstump 11:04 PM But the tongue! That’s kind of scary.

chris 11:04 PM other than the tongues and claymation zombies

cathschaffstump 11:04 PM The zombies are pure camp.

george_galuschak 11:04 PM they were great

cathschaffstump 11:04 PM I will admit I am not too worried about having any bad dreams about this one.

 

The Unreliable Narrators Watch… The Woman in Black

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Or: Harry Potter and Chekhov’s Beloved Child

Okay, that’s not entirely fair.

The Woman in Black is an old-fashioned ghost movie with a sound design so effective that your humble Narrators are still talking about more than a week later. It’s not a perfect film—we’ll get to that—but what it does, it does well.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:

Chris
Cath
Chia
George
Special Guest: Morris the Cat

 

Here be spoilers…

 

Our takeaways, with the full transcript after the jump:

chialynn 11:19 PM Obvious in ways I didn’t mind.

chris 11:19 PM I would say very creepy but not scary

chris 11:19 PM it’s that formula that relies on period. Phones and such make it not work

cathschaffstump 11:19 PM I concur, Chris.

cathschaffstump 11:20 PM Lots of really good sets and lighting.

cathschaffstump 11:20 PM Some really good acting.

chialynn 11:20 PM Novy just named the 3d animation and modeling package they used for the end credits.

george_galuschak 11:20 PM i liked it

cathschaffstump 11:20 PM I thought it was fine.

george_galuschak 11:20 PM it was effective at what it set out to do

chialynn 11:20 PM Good acting, effective use of the tropes, even when they were very clearly tropes.

chialynn 11:20 PM Creeped me the hell out.

chris 11:21 PM and yet… the tropes kept it from being scary

chris 11:21 PM too many scares that wouldn’t work without a BAM on the score

chris 11:21 PM It was mostly creepy-old-house atmospherics. And they played every card in that hand! who isn’t creeped out by old dolls, taxidermy, music boxes

chialynn 11:21 PM And… Kind of a happy ending?

cathschaffstump 11:21 PM Kind of.

chris 11:21 PM but then why go through all the shit with the car and the mud?

cathschaffstump 11:21 PM Trying to placate the woman.

chialynn 11:22 PM He thought he could change things. He couldn’t.

chris 11:22 PM did that even do anything?

george_galuschak 11:22 PM maybe she figured she was repaying him

george_galuschak 11:22 PM he wanted to be with his wife, she saw to it

cathschaffstump 11:22 PM Maybe. That’s an interesting take.

chialynn 11:22 PM But she did say “Never forgive.”

cathschaffstump 11:22 PM You gave me back my kid.

cathschaffstump 11:22 PM I give you back to your wife.

george_galuschak 11:22 PM sure

cathschaffstump 11:22 PM I like that.

chris 11:22 PM Well, we spent the entire film waiting for the other shoe to drop on Chekov’s beloved child

chris 11:22 PM and it did

chris 11:24 PM the child showing up just in time for the ending…

george_galuschak 11:23 PM yes, good ending

chialynn 11:23 PM Yes.

cathschaffstump 11:24 PM I still liked it, but I could see why some people might not.

cathschaffstump 11:25 PM So, I’m gonna recommend this one, but with some hesitation for those who don’t like their horror slow.

george_galuschak 11:25 PM i liked it. i will probably watch it again. i turned the sound down so i wouldn’t get too freaked

george_galuschak 11:25 PM the sound is the scariest thing about this movie

cathschaffstump 11:30 PM Agreed, George.

chialynn 11:25 PM I’m going to watch it again.

chialynn 11:26 PM I want to see some of the background stuff I missed.

chialynn 11:27 PM I like slow-build atmospheric horror.

chris 11:28 PM I’d say it’s passable. Not really a standout for me

cathschaffstump 11:29 PM I wouldn’t call it a great horror film.

cathschaffstump 11:29 PM But believe me, I’ve seen plenty worse.

chris 11:29 PM There’s the jacket quote. “I’ve seen plenty worse.” – Cath Schaff-Stump

chris 11:29 PM “Damning with faint praise indeed.”–Cath Schaff-Stump

chris 11:30 PM it wasn’t a waste of time. that’s my jacket quote